I have to confess that I’m drawn (and too often go for) “The Player”. You know the one. The charismatic man with all the great lines and cheeky grin.
There is just SOMETHING about these guys that draws me in. Even as my head tells me to “RUN … RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN”, I instead pull up a chair and choose to play the game.
So, what exactly is the attraction? It’s not necessarily that they are more physically attractive, smarter or more successful than the “nice guys”. But what I’m finding is, there actually doesn’t seem to be any “nice guys” left! So what’s a girl to do?
Am I being too harsh? Or is this actually the hard, cold truth?
So how do I define “The Player”? To me he:
• Booty calls you after he’s been out with others
• Is always so busy that he never commits to a date until the last minute – aka he hasn’t got a better offer
• Openly flirts with other woman when you’re together
• Avoids questions about what he did last night (your gut tells you it’s because he was out with another woman)
• If he does return your call or text message he does it in his own good time
• Hits on your friends
• Dates multiply woman at the same time
Don’t panic, I know that I deserve so much better than what I have described and I have given myself many a serious talking to. However it’s hard. I seriously believe that the “Nice Guy” is an endangered species. For that reason it’s often hard to remember that it is possible to find a man who makes you flustered and giggly and gives you butterflies in your tummy. A good man who is respectful, loyal and genuinely interested in connecting with a woman for more than one night!
So as a smart woman, i know that i shouldn’t engage with ‘The Player’. However, if i choose to go on that date i go in with my eyes wide open!
Do you agree? Are Nice Guys a thing of the past?
Big Hugs
Rebecca xx
Hmmmm…..
Player. Yup there’s thousands of them and there’s more emerging every day. Are women perpetuating this cycle? Yes. When decisions to date someone is based on sexual attraction alone what else is there to do but well, have sex? With many. Loyalty and honesty goes out the window and greed replaces it. The games begin and respect is a long forgotten virtue. Many many people are hurting themselves and others. This is a terrible state of affairs (pardon the pun). It becomes addictive asnd destructive.
If only women could put the brakes on sleeping around, men would take stock. And if only men could start to feel and empathise with women they would make differnt choices. Women would feel more secure, trusting and less needy. WE would all be safer and happier in the dating scene.
Many women want security, to feel loved, to know they are chosen over all other women. Men equally want to be loved, needed and nutured even for one night with a one night stand. Both places are not in a truthful state of being. The fact is we all just want to be loved – lets learn what love truly is – having sex is an expression of love. In the absence of love then what is sex? It’s an exchange, a transaction. Lets start by loving ourselves, be respectful of our bodies, be truthful and honerable. We will attract people with the same values. Lets break the transaction cycle and live wonderfully rewarding lives. Cx
slow the dating brakes, teach men how to value and respect a woman, men will comply and actually enjoy the transformation from “kids in a lolly shop” mentality to a loving, respectful union where companionship is valued as much as the hot sex.
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